Culture Shock is defined by http://dictionary.reference.com/ as,
Culture shock can be defined in five stages and not everyone goes through them.
Before I came to the United Arab Emirates. I read everything I could about culture shock and these five stages came up pretty frequently in my research. These five stages are very general and often fail to consider that people will experience different phases in different cultures. The United Arab Emirates is completely different in terms of what someone might experience because the country is made up of so many expatriates (you can almost avoid the culture all together if you work in an office of other expatriates). If someone is from India and comes to the UAE they may feel some of these stages but they may also just surround themselves with other Indian expatriates. Someone from Australia may feel these stages as well but never quite assimilate because they too find other Australians and continue to live very similar lives to what they lived in Australia. And me? I am from America and for the most part who do I spend my time with? Other Americans? But as an educator I come into contact with Emirates and Arab Expatriates everyday these are my colleagues and my students so the shock was inevitable.
So in my research I read that in the UAE there are two types of the stage of "adjustment" in the UAE. In one type we surround ourselves with expatriates from our home country or western countries and live very familiar lives from back home down to the cinema, the food, and even our extracurricular activities. We often join in on complaint sessions in regards to the Emirates and Arabic culture. On the other end of the spectrum there is this world where expatriates become friends with Emirates and Arab expatriates and learn about their culture. They experience the food and may attend an Emirate wedding or celebration. They see the beauty of the Muslim community and they find some acceptance. This acceptance brings them to a place where they really see the UAE as their home rather than temporary situation in their lives. In my research I remember reading that if one did not come to this place of acceptance that they might as well have a calendar on their wall counting down the days until they get home. They forgot to mention the fuzzy gray area in between the two places that I seem to have landed. So finding myself in limbo of acceptance and rejection I want to really dissect my culture shock according to the five stages of culture shock. First I will give the definition of each stage and then I will attempt to summarize what my feelings were during this stage.
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Honeymoon Phase is defined as the following:
During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on. During the first few weeks most people are fascinated by the new culture. They associate with the nationals that speak their language and are polite to the foreigners. This period is full of observations and new discoveries. Like many honeymoons this stage eventually ends.
When I first arrived in Abu Dhabi we were greeted with roses and brought to the 5 star hotel the Rotana Beach with view of the gulf out our window. Honeymoon? Yes! I felt like I was in a fantasy land with enormous sky scrapers everywhere. I was snapping a million pictures of the beautiful buildings, the hotel, I even went stark mad just taking photos of trays of food in the breakfast buffet. I was trying new foods and even ate the McArabia from McDonalds just because it was different! I look at this stage and fear that maybe my honeymoon phase was short changed by the wear and tear that hotel life started to have on us.
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Negotiation Phase is defined as the following:
After some time (usually three months but sometimes sooner or later, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to new and unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to have unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive of one's cultural sensitivity. Language barrier, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings.
For us I think the "Negotiation Phase," came sooner due to hotel life becoming so draining! I kept finding myself saying again and again that once we get into our homes everything will be easier! I won't fight with my husband and my son won't make me insane if we can just get in our home with an internet connection and a stove and a fridge. I was starting to feel like my hierarchy of needs were not being met. Many would laugh at me and I feel ashamed to say that when so many people could and would never consider living in a 5 star hotel challenging; but it was! We were ready for our apartment and space!
We were running out of money and getting really sick of eating out, not having internet, and not having space for our very active two year old son to rome about (his legs were covered in bruises from running into the furniture in the small hotel room) or even a space for him to nap or fall asleep before we did. In addition to that is the anxiety that comes with this country deriving from questions like: when will have a meeting? When do we move to our apartments? When do we move from Abu Dhabi to Al Ain? When do we get our passports back? When do we find out school placements, get debit cards, get rental cars, when do we start school and how will I find my school? For a type A personality that likes a lot of control it can feel like the honeymoon phase comes to a crashing stop. I still felt myself saying and still do over and over again am I really here? Am I really living in this fast growing country across the world from all that I know with camels in the back of Toyotas? And I smile because it is something that will continue to amaze me and justify this decision.
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Adjustment Phase is defined as the following:
Again, after some time (usually 6 – 12 months), one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal". One starts to develop problem-solving skills for dealing with the culture, and begins to accept the culture ways with a positive attitude. The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced.
So I know on some levels I am here in this phase right now. I am used to the new culture, I am never surprised and often anticipate many things that were shocking at first. Food delivered may take two hours and that is ok even if they said 45 minutes (complaining does you know good). I may have to return to the electric company four or five times to get the utilities switched in my name and they may be completely inefficient but it doesn't surprise me. Cars may fly up on two wheels around the round about and I may feel like I am on the defense often when driving; but I am not phased by this lack for safety in this country. I may pick up son up at a day care stuffing his face with cotton candy delivered to him by a stranger and I won't even raise an eyebrow. The prayer calls have become background noise and I know to go shopping on Fridays around noon to have the malls to ourselves and the other western expatriates. I know that most places are closed from 2 to 4 and on Fridays so I don't even bother trying to get things done then. I know that "No problem" does not always mean there won't be a problem. I know that sometimes Insha Allah means it will happen and sometimes it won't. I learned the world won't end if my son pulls his pants down in the mall or I wear a short sleeve shirt or accidentally eat with my left hand or cross my legs in public. So in so many ways I feel right at home here.
I have also found my favorite places to shop, get dinner, joined a bowling league, go to movies, have a reliable babysitter, my favorite route to work, and have made some good friends. We have favorite parks and Mike, Gavin and I love to go to Dubai just to go to the book store and eat at big American chains like Outback and Fridays. We love to go to explore Al Ain and love that there is so much to do that revolves around family. We are happy here. We miss family and can't wait to see them this summer and look forward to a time when we return to the United States but are not by any means checking dates off a calendar.
As I read the last portion of the this phase of culture shock as defined by Wikopedia it states, "The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced."
Some may say I am extremely self-absorbed in my own cultural ways or too confident or cocky even, to say that the way we do things in the United States is best. Maybe? But I will never be able to make sense of the way things are done here! I will never be able to understand (I can deal with it and let it roll of my shoulders) why the bazillion stamps and why there isn't a universal computer server for each company. For example if I want something done with my bank I have to go to a certain branch and no one can just pull something up from a connected server on the computer (this means lots of driving around). Lack of efficiency across the board at the government level and the business level and I can never find any sense in something that I see so inefficient, I just can't! I really believe that there are some Emirates that are paid some outlandish salary just to sit in an office and stamp things. I will continue to have negative reactions to these things and opposition to the backwards and inefficient planning for so many things in this country. So does this mean that I will not find acceptance?
I suppose on some levels my reactions have reduced to a shrug of the shoulder and a certain expectation for this inefficiency so that I blink my eyes and more or less forget that I had to give five copies of my passport to someone for some reason and they still need another copy because they can't find it. I know I can't let these things eat me up but do I have to make sense of it? In my professional opinion no! I can let it go but I cannot endorse inefficiency. In contrast anyway I could make a list a mile long of the inefficiencies in the United States so I suppose in some ways I have not quite found acceptance even in my own country...
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Mastery Phase is defined as the following:
In the mastery stage assignees are able to participate fully and comfortably in the host culture. Mastery does not mean total conversion; people often keep many traits from their earlier culture, such as accents and languages. It is often referred to as the biculturalism stage.
Mastery is still over the horizon for me. I am still learning so much and this learning could go on for a while. For example it was just brought to my attention that drinking coffee at the morning assembly isn't culturally appropriate and apparently I have been getting looks of disgust for months now. I feel terrible now and I do not bring my coffee to morning assembly and I felt pretty bad that I made such a terrible mistake ongoing for so long with out thinking twice. Culturally for me teacher + morning = coffee mug in her hand. I never considered the notion that no one else was drinking coffee. I have to say my mornings are a little off now but I am working on it. I suppose mastery will be when I avoid making these little mistakes all together for the most part. Insha Allah...
"a state of bewilderment and distress experienced by an individual who is suddenly exposed to a new, strange, or foreign social and cultural environment ."
Culture shock can be defined in five stages and not everyone goes through them.
The 5 stages of culture shock:
* The Honeymoon
* The Honeymoon
* The Actual Shock/Negotiation
* The Adjustment
* Assimilation
* Reverse Cultural Shock
Before I came to the United Arab Emirates. I read everything I could about culture shock and these five stages came up pretty frequently in my research. These five stages are very general and often fail to consider that people will experience different phases in different cultures. The United Arab Emirates is completely different in terms of what someone might experience because the country is made up of so many expatriates (you can almost avoid the culture all together if you work in an office of other expatriates). If someone is from India and comes to the UAE they may feel some of these stages but they may also just surround themselves with other Indian expatriates. Someone from Australia may feel these stages as well but never quite assimilate because they too find other Australians and continue to live very similar lives to what they lived in Australia. And me? I am from America and for the most part who do I spend my time with? Other Americans? But as an educator I come into contact with Emirates and Arab Expatriates everyday these are my colleagues and my students so the shock was inevitable.
So in my research I read that in the UAE there are two types of the stage of "adjustment" in the UAE. In one type we surround ourselves with expatriates from our home country or western countries and live very familiar lives from back home down to the cinema, the food, and even our extracurricular activities. We often join in on complaint sessions in regards to the Emirates and Arabic culture. On the other end of the spectrum there is this world where expatriates become friends with Emirates and Arab expatriates and learn about their culture. They experience the food and may attend an Emirate wedding or celebration. They see the beauty of the Muslim community and they find some acceptance. This acceptance brings them to a place where they really see the UAE as their home rather than temporary situation in their lives. In my research I remember reading that if one did not come to this place of acceptance that they might as well have a calendar on their wall counting down the days until they get home. They forgot to mention the fuzzy gray area in between the two places that I seem to have landed. So finding myself in limbo of acceptance and rejection I want to really dissect my culture shock according to the five stages of culture shock. First I will give the definition of each stage and then I will attempt to summarize what my feelings were during this stage.
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Honeymoon Phase is defined as the following:
During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on. During the first few weeks most people are fascinated by the new culture. They associate with the nationals that speak their language and are polite to the foreigners. This period is full of observations and new discoveries. Like many honeymoons this stage eventually ends.
When I first arrived in Abu Dhabi we were greeted with roses and brought to the 5 star hotel the Rotana Beach with view of the gulf out our window. Honeymoon? Yes! I felt like I was in a fantasy land with enormous sky scrapers everywhere. I was snapping a million pictures of the beautiful buildings, the hotel, I even went stark mad just taking photos of trays of food in the breakfast buffet. I was trying new foods and even ate the McArabia from McDonalds just because it was different! I look at this stage and fear that maybe my honeymoon phase was short changed by the wear and tear that hotel life started to have on us.
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Negotiation Phase is defined as the following:
After some time (usually three months but sometimes sooner or later, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to new and unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to have unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive of one's cultural sensitivity. Language barrier, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings.
For us I think the "Negotiation Phase," came sooner due to hotel life becoming so draining! I kept finding myself saying again and again that once we get into our homes everything will be easier! I won't fight with my husband and my son won't make me insane if we can just get in our home with an internet connection and a stove and a fridge. I was starting to feel like my hierarchy of needs were not being met. Many would laugh at me and I feel ashamed to say that when so many people could and would never consider living in a 5 star hotel challenging; but it was! We were ready for our apartment and space!
We were running out of money and getting really sick of eating out, not having internet, and not having space for our very active two year old son to rome about (his legs were covered in bruises from running into the furniture in the small hotel room) or even a space for him to nap or fall asleep before we did. In addition to that is the anxiety that comes with this country deriving from questions like: when will have a meeting? When do we move to our apartments? When do we move from Abu Dhabi to Al Ain? When do we get our passports back? When do we find out school placements, get debit cards, get rental cars, when do we start school and how will I find my school? For a type A personality that likes a lot of control it can feel like the honeymoon phase comes to a crashing stop. I still felt myself saying and still do over and over again am I really here? Am I really living in this fast growing country across the world from all that I know with camels in the back of Toyotas? And I smile because it is something that will continue to amaze me and justify this decision.
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Adjustment Phase is defined as the following:
Again, after some time (usually 6 – 12 months), one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal". One starts to develop problem-solving skills for dealing with the culture, and begins to accept the culture ways with a positive attitude. The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced.
So I know on some levels I am here in this phase right now. I am used to the new culture, I am never surprised and often anticipate many things that were shocking at first. Food delivered may take two hours and that is ok even if they said 45 minutes (complaining does you know good). I may have to return to the electric company four or five times to get the utilities switched in my name and they may be completely inefficient but it doesn't surprise me. Cars may fly up on two wheels around the round about and I may feel like I am on the defense often when driving; but I am not phased by this lack for safety in this country. I may pick up son up at a day care stuffing his face with cotton candy delivered to him by a stranger and I won't even raise an eyebrow. The prayer calls have become background noise and I know to go shopping on Fridays around noon to have the malls to ourselves and the other western expatriates. I know that most places are closed from 2 to 4 and on Fridays so I don't even bother trying to get things done then. I know that "No problem" does not always mean there won't be a problem. I know that sometimes Insha Allah means it will happen and sometimes it won't. I learned the world won't end if my son pulls his pants down in the mall or I wear a short sleeve shirt or accidentally eat with my left hand or cross my legs in public. So in so many ways I feel right at home here.
I have also found my favorite places to shop, get dinner, joined a bowling league, go to movies, have a reliable babysitter, my favorite route to work, and have made some good friends. We have favorite parks and Mike, Gavin and I love to go to Dubai just to go to the book store and eat at big American chains like Outback and Fridays. We love to go to explore Al Ain and love that there is so much to do that revolves around family. We are happy here. We miss family and can't wait to see them this summer and look forward to a time when we return to the United States but are not by any means checking dates off a calendar.
As I read the last portion of the this phase of culture shock as defined by Wikopedia it states, "The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced."
Some may say I am extremely self-absorbed in my own cultural ways or too confident or cocky even, to say that the way we do things in the United States is best. Maybe? But I will never be able to make sense of the way things are done here! I will never be able to understand (I can deal with it and let it roll of my shoulders) why the bazillion stamps and why there isn't a universal computer server for each company. For example if I want something done with my bank I have to go to a certain branch and no one can just pull something up from a connected server on the computer (this means lots of driving around). Lack of efficiency across the board at the government level and the business level and I can never find any sense in something that I see so inefficient, I just can't! I really believe that there are some Emirates that are paid some outlandish salary just to sit in an office and stamp things. I will continue to have negative reactions to these things and opposition to the backwards and inefficient planning for so many things in this country. So does this mean that I will not find acceptance?
I suppose on some levels my reactions have reduced to a shrug of the shoulder and a certain expectation for this inefficiency so that I blink my eyes and more or less forget that I had to give five copies of my passport to someone for some reason and they still need another copy because they can't find it. I know I can't let these things eat me up but do I have to make sense of it? In my professional opinion no! I can let it go but I cannot endorse inefficiency. In contrast anyway I could make a list a mile long of the inefficiencies in the United States so I suppose in some ways I have not quite found acceptance even in my own country...
According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Mastery Phase is defined as the following:
In the mastery stage assignees are able to participate fully and comfortably in the host culture. Mastery does not mean total conversion; people often keep many traits from their earlier culture, such as accents and languages. It is often referred to as the biculturalism stage.
Mastery is still over the horizon for me. I am still learning so much and this learning could go on for a while. For example it was just brought to my attention that drinking coffee at the morning assembly isn't culturally appropriate and apparently I have been getting looks of disgust for months now. I feel terrible now and I do not bring my coffee to morning assembly and I felt pretty bad that I made such a terrible mistake ongoing for so long with out thinking twice. Culturally for me teacher + morning = coffee mug in her hand. I never considered the notion that no one else was drinking coffee. I have to say my mornings are a little off now but I am working on it. I suppose mastery will be when I avoid making these little mistakes all together for the most part. Insha Allah...
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