So a friend posted a link to this blog that another teacher has written and I think it really captures all the negatives of my experience thus so far.  I also think it would be a good blog for anyone considering this experience to read.

Here is a link:
http://mellyschu.blogspot.com/2010/11/truth-is.html

This is pretty intense and I can see all of what she is writing about.  I think in a way I am pretty lucky at my school, while there is a division and probably some teachers that look down their noses at me (not probably there is!).  I choose to only notice the happy bubbly Egyptian music teacher that always smiles at me (and makes less money then us).  She is a larger woman with glasses and a very colorful and elaborate kandora and head scarf, and she wears a thick pancho over her clothes in the cool weather.  Every morning she gets the girls together to play music for the assembly and she works so hard and because she is Egyptian her salary is less then us (salary for expats is generally a significant amount more than one would earn in their home country but not equal to other teachers at the school...westerners all make the same based on experience and then Emirates naturally make significantly more).  Well she greets all of the LTs every morning with eye contact, smiles and firm handshakes.  She asks about family and really cares.  One morning my friend Sylvia from South Africa was shivering a bit and coughing and she took her warm pancho off and gave it to her!  This is just an example of some of the humanity in this country that does exist.  Another teacher works in Special Education (I still have no idea what she does but she has a child with special needs of her own and openly admits it and this is humbling for someone from this country).  She has lost a child from illness and I imagine that has been humbling as well for her.  She is an Emirate woman and due to her child's illness she lived in the states a few years so she has more acceptance and appreciation for western society.  She lights up when she sees me.  When I was out sick with kidney stones she was scribbling down homeopathic remedies for me and had legitimate concern for my health.  So there are some open minded opened arm teachers at my school; however they are in the minority and many of the ladies shake your hand if you come up to them and they look somewhere else and they force fake smiles, and I try to attribute it to the language barrier (hey I got to sleep at night!).

The principal to me is a quiet woman that stands at morning assembly and never addresses the student body.  She is thin and frail and wears a very simple black abaya and shayla.  She doesn't say a lot and is always very quiet and smiles when she sees us. From what I can tell she appreciates and wants us at her school and understands how hard we work)  It seems the assistant principal is the real authority and I do get a bit of disgust from her and lack of appreciation for what we do (for example she wanted us to complete our marks over Christmas vacation with no value for our time off).  For the most part I know that there is a division at our school and there is a level of disrespect to the point that some of us feel like servants at our school but I just choose not to see it that way.  I come to school just as I always did in the US and I teach.  I close the doors and I close out the drama that exhists at every school (which comes with the territory of working in a female dominated profession, too much estrogen makes me choke).  I dot my i's and cross my t's and I stay under the radar as much as possible.  My principal has stepped foot in my classroom twice and both times she smiled.  I also have a few random Arabic teachers that stroll in to yell at the girls, pass out notes, take my girls away or whatever and I go with the flow.  But honestly I can do this and I feel like what I am taking from it is that I am becoming a better teacher for it.  I am seeing some progress with my girls and in the grand scheme of things that is what matters. 

We took our girls on a picnic at the park.  I brought a jump rope and they loved it!  Great picture of girls jumping rope.

Many of the girls just as their culture teaches them, tossed their trash on the ground.  Well, the Arabic teachers were happy with that and I guess thought that the laborers could clean it.  But the LTs brought trash bags!  And all the grade three girls new the words to the Barney "Clean up" song.  The Arabic teachers jaws were to the floor as our girls happily sang the clean up song scurrying around picking up garbage and sorting out any food that was untouched to give to laborers at the park or the cleaners at the school (these ladies are from Ethiopia and the Phillipenes and make roughly 200 USD a month that they send home so they eat very poorly).  It was fantastic!  When one of the LTs said to the Arabic staff, "we don't want the park to spread around how filthy our school is," they agreed to this disgusting task as they certainly were not going to pitch in!

This is not a Muslim or Arabic thing, this is just what money does to these people.  Why walk or find a trash can if someone else can pick it up?  It is not uncommon to see trash flying from a car, or to see a family cleaning the trash from their car on the ground of a parking lot.   We were also amazed that the Arabic staff just left their picnicking materials on the path thinking someone would pick it up and of course we did (sure that makes us look less like their inferiors right?),

Ok so this blog I mentioned earlier in my post got me thinking because the real cure to culture shock is acceptance and appreciation of the culture but I know for me that will never really happen, I will leave here repelled by Arabic culture (ok not all Arabic culture but for the most part any Arabics with lots of money) and the opposite is happening to me.  For example when I see Arabic kids at the playground I grab Gavin and go away because I know they will be throwing sand, taking his toys, or just plain push him away because he is an annoying two year old (they will come up to me and tell me to make him stop trying to play with them...so sad).  Instead of keeping an open mind I find myself thinking or expecting these kids to be rude brats. Let me exemplify, last night we were in Dubai at the Chucky Cheese and Gavin was playing with one of the employees and he got away and was on the run so she was chasing him and I was right behind her chasing him too.  Well he saw an Arabic boy , maybe ten or eleven playing dance revolution and jumped on the game too!  He started playing with the kid.  I caught up to Gavin and grabbed him and the Arabic kid is screaming bloody hell at this employee.  His mother and father are at the table near by taking the whole scene in and they are not intervening.  He wants a refund because this little boy ruined his game.  I was holding Gavin in my arms watching this and I said, "stop yelling at her!"  I handed him my game card, "I will pay for another game, my god he is two years old."  He glared at me and stomped over to his table and grabbed his card and paid for the game.  The employee rolled her eyes at me and smiled.

I am trying to find the beauty in the Arabic and  Muslim cultures but not sure I can really find the needed appreciation and acceptance to really allow myself to settle here for even a moment.  I guess on some levels my culture shock is becoming less and less as I learn my favorite places to shop, my routes to and from school, make friends and I am even joining a bowling league and buying a car so in a sense we are making a life here but I know it will always be us and them and that I will leave her never really taking on the original acceptance and appreciation I intended to have or gain when I leave this country. 

I think about what made me want to pick up my roots and run away from New Mexico and it was mainly poverty.  Because of poverty the social problems that existed made Albuquerque a not so enticing location to raise a child.  High rates in alcoholism, drinking and driving, drugs, gang activity, garbage in the parks and streets, lack of parental involvement with children (which translates to poor academic performance, more violence and bullying on the playground), and too much crime.  Our neighbors were shooting shot guns on the holidays into the ground, our neighbors would not think twice before stealing packages from our step or letting their dogs crap in our yard.  You get it, no sense of community, the parks were not safe, and the schools were not safe.  I didn't want my son to grow up and be hazed for a gang...you get it right?  I couldn't leave soon enough after four men walked into the Denny's down the street with machine guns leaving the 16 year old waitress dead. 

So in contrast what disgusts me here is the money (which breeds poverty that lives in fear so it doesn't translate to crime).  I appreciate the family values and the safety that the stringent laws creates.  But so much faith in their god seems to translate to lack of safety.  They feel like God wills them to be safe.  So no carseats, stuff 100 kids on a bus made for 60 kids, drive like maniacs and if a child dies it was their God's will and there was nothing they could do to change that.  Then the life of priviledge and having a servant to do everything means complete lack of humanity for some of these laborers.  They always have someone to carry things for them or clean things for them.  I could go on and on when I think about lack of humanity in some of these people and lack of work ethic.  It seems like too there is also a lack of parent involvement because these women just shoot out babies (the more babies the cooler you are) and so they don't have time to give their children the attention they need and often the nannies take care of them.  So this translates to no discipline, bullying, violence, and poor academic performance.  Hmmmm interesting how similar poverty and money can translate to the same thing...

I guess what I am saying is that suburban and middle class America has never looked so good to me.

As my two week holiday came to an end and I came back to school with my new years resolutions to eat healthier, be a better mom (in other words time for potty training and getting the kid off the sippy), and to be more active.  What am I doing to make these changes? 

I started by joining Weight Watchers online on January 1st which has put me in a position to really track my food intake.  I am more aware of my portion sizes and how to make healthy substitutions.  I am trying to be active in some way at least 20 minutes a day and trying to vary it up with Pilate's, yoga, walking, and the weights and treadmill we purchased over the holidays.  I have also added multi-vitamins to my life and am eating more fruits and vegetables which also means Gavin is slowly becoming more interested in eating healthy.  So far while the pounds are not flying off I am feeling more energetic and more comfortable in my clothes.  This also translates to being a better teacher because I am sitting down a lot less which means I am a more vigil and active teacher.

How am I becoming a better teacher so far??  I am trying to reflect on student performance and group my students accordingly.  I have organized my girls into reading groups and am attempting to differentiate instruction giving the girls different leveled readers and activities and surprisingly there are not too many complaints that they are doing different activities.  On a side note why this surprises me is because this culture squashes individuality on some levels and often I see so many girls attempting to be just like the other girls and this can be related to the fact that the mothers and fathers are so much the same in attire and even mannerisms and walking...I mean to say most of the Arabic ladies walk the same; they sort of slowly float along and the men do as well.  Which in contrast is funny because in their cars they drive like maniacs.  Anyways so my whole point was that because I see my girls so desperately needing to be the same as the group I thought they would throw a tiffy when I started to give them different activities but I found that as long as they are in cooperative learning groups and the girl next to them is doing the same thing they are fine.  Now in each class I have one girl that is even beyond the highest reading group.  I have given these girls even high readers and activities to choose from.

While I have been able to differentiate in reading I am still really struggling with this in math and the reality is I need to.  For example the past two weeks I have been struggling to teach carrying and borrowing in addition and subtraction.  I have used hundred charts, and base ten blocks and still I have some girls that are just clueless and some girls that are ready to move on.  So I know that a good teacher could find a way to get the higher girls to move on and would find a way to go back over the skill with the girls that still are not getting it.  But I just don't know how to do this because very few of my girls are independent learners.  I can give them a task and they need constant recognition so when trying to work with the low girls the high girls are right there to show me their work and look for recognition.  So this is something I know I need to improve on.

My faculty head says to me after an observation that I struggle with my "time on task," and I have to agree with her.  I have trouble getting my girls focused and they easily get distracted.  This derives from poor classroom management.  Now I know I don't have the worst classroom management but I know for sure it could be better.  Now in contrast there are teachers that are excellent at classroom management but the children complain to their mothers that the teacher is mean and then the mothers complain to administration and there is a cycle so it is almost like we can't win.  My faculty head is also looking for us to exhibit an equal amount of positive reinforcement as negative reinforcement so it is a balancing act.  My issue is out of fear of being reprimanded or brought under a spot light by administration or even worse ADEC themselves I set out at the beginning of the year to only have a positive reward system.  Which on some levels has worked for me and has been motivating and the mothers love it.  But back to the problem at hand, I simply do not have enough time on task with my girls.  So the new year brings a new behavior management system.

I am implementing the stoplight system.  I have a hanging pocket chart with colored circles red, orange, yellow and green.  Each Sunday (like Monday) the girls start at green.  When they move to yellow it is a warning, orange final warning, and red means move away from the group and work alone.  Now of course girls can earn their way back up to green.  This system also has rewards, if you are in the green at the end of class you leave two minutes early (could never do this in the states it is fantastic!) which means the rest of the class thinks they are leaving late (although we would be in serious trouble if we let any of the girls out late).  They are in pure torture sitting waiting for just two minutes and it is really working!  Then on Thursday (Friday here) I am giving all the girls left in the green a small prize candy, gum, pencil etc.  I know I just started it but really I think it is working out quite well! I only had a few tears (tears must work on mom every time with some of these girls) and hopefully I won't have any angry mothers.

Now as far as helping my son transition into being a "big boy" I am at my wits end!  I am hearing from many that "my son was potty trained before two," or "before two and a half," and I am really starting to get a complex so here we go.  I let him run around all day no diaper and I sit him on the potty every 20 minutes and after naps and after waking in the morning and after a drink and after a meal and he refuses to go in the potty!  He exhibits all the signs he hates wet diapers and tells me he needs a new diaper all the time.  He loves his potty, loves to sit on it, but refuses to pee in it.  He pees on the floor in the same spot and so we put his potty in the same spot and yet he pees on the floor next to it.  I guess eventually he will go in the potty but at this point I just think he is stubborn.  I mean take this morning after waking up his diaper was dry and I have him a sippy.  I put him on that potty 10 to 15 times and sat with him.   We sang the little potty song I made up and we sat and sat.  Then after two hours (that means bladder control doesn't it?) he pees on the floor by the potty.  I think he just wants to be defiant and stubborn...I know my loyal fans and readers (lol my mom) will tell me he is only two....I digress...

In general news we are trying to buy a car and get a loan because car rental prices are just too high and at least when leave the country we can sell the car and maybe pocket a little extra cash but getting a loan has been a nightmare as everything in this country has been.  I think, I believe, I hope that as they say "Insha Allah" it will happen tomorrow.  We were thinking of going with a brand new Mitsubishi ASX but now we are toying with the idea of going to Dubai and checking out the used car lots as they have a lot of cars that are still under warranty and less than a year old for around 5000 USD cheaper.  There have been over 100 teachers that have left their cars at the airport or apartment parking lots and left the country blowing off their car loans and debt.  Apparently their situations were bad enough to warrant such poor purchasing decisions and abandoning debt to become wanted fugitives in a country they can never step foot in again...I am truly amazed at the behavior of some so called educated professionals; they have no idea how bad they make the rest of us look; which is one of the reasons I am struggling so much with getting my own car. 

Last weekend I went out with some other teachers to one of the night clubs in the hotels here in Al Ain and I had a great time dancing to top 20 American dance hits while drinking Vodka and cranberry juice (I made sure I dance for 20 minutes straight for each drink I had to burn the calories).  It was so much fun and I even stayed out until 3am.  I was under the weather the whole next day and realized that a night out at 33 is much harder than it was at 23 but still a lot of fun. Quite the scene even here in Al Ain down to the flamboyant Filipino man in make-up and heels busting a move on the dance floor.  Needless to say I will probably keep my drinking and dancing at a minimum as I can't afford to lose a whole day off to a hang over!

Well Michael and Gavin and I have begun a tradition of going of the mall on Fridays when all the Muslims are at church so we can have it to ourselves and the other expats.  Gavin gets to play at the play area and we window shop so I am off to do that now!  I think we may go see a movie tonight as well...