Mind the Gap!

I have found with previous breaks from school, since my time overseas has commenced, my tendency is to crave time at home with my son and husband.  I day dream during my busy weeks of simply enjoying the neighborhood parks, the zoo, trips to Dubai and even just lazily reading a book or catching up on my television shows.  Well this is a great way to spend a break and it sort of stretches it out making it seem to last longer and it gives me the much needed rest and relaxation but I have also found that I have this unwanted company on my breaks.  That company is the longing for home, missing family, missing my girls back home.  I often spend at least one evening during these breaks having one to many glasses of wine and simply tearing up missing everyone.  So with spring break coming I wanted to avoid this.

One thing that everyone here can share with you that comes with culture shock is the roller coaster of feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, and frustration.  Each of these feelings is contrasted by feelings of enlightenment, joy, amazement, and even sometimes just a high that comes from so many new experiences. I remember once thinking that I was starting to get old enough that I had pretty much done all my firsts.  First bike ride, first airplane ride, first time behind a wheel, first drink of alcohol, first time whitewater rafting, first time traveling across the states, first time in a foreign country, first kiss, first bite of sushi or curry, first time swimming in the ocean, and the list goes on and on but you get the point right?  You get caught up in day to day life in America the daily grind so to speak and you hit 30 and you have your career, you give birth, you get married, and well this looming feeling of I did  all life has to offer and now I just sit back and wait for things to happen to my son so I can live through him now right?  Well I suppose this feeling is sort of gone for me now that I live overseas I mean I really start to see how large the world is and I know that I have so many firsts if I just travel.  So I took my first trip to Athens, Greece so cross that off the bucket list.

In college I had a great roommate named Ginny and we quickly became great friends.  Memories with Ginny include having a good time laughing, dancing, playing pool, traveling to Colorado, and whitewater rafting on the Amazon river.  We have kept up contact over the years and when I would travel back to Iowa we would meet up for a meal or lunch.  Ginny began working at this restaurant in Iowa City owned by this great Greek man named Dimitri.  They fell in love and have been together ever since.  She used to tell me they would move to Athens, Greece and would marry there.  I remember thinking how mythical that sort of life might seem.  Well just over a year ago they did, they sold their home in Iowa and were off to Athens.  I have to admit feeling so distanced from our friendship I had some anxiety about showing up on her doorstep in Athens and staying in her home but it was wonderful.  We didn't skip a beat from college it was like no time has passed and we found as we started to discuss that we had  a lot of the same feelings living in new countries.  We have similar observations of the void of culture in the United States compared to an Arab culture or Greek Culture. When Ginny and I were  roommates we held one of the best cocktail parties ever.  Here are a few images from that time.

Here is Ginny all dressed up.

This is my friend Julie and I at the same party all dressed up...

We had some really fun times that I will never forget and it was really great to spend a few days with her in such an amazing place!  Let me tell you about my trip to Athens, Greece now!  Here is a picture of Ginny and I on top of Mount Parnitha.  We haven't changed too much from 20 to 30 right?  

I had originally scheduled a cheap flight through one of those online booking agencies that give you a great deal with multiple connections and long layovers.  I was a little annoyed but couldn't refute the price, around 400 USD and I could fly to Greece.  Well my layover was planned to be in Bahrain and I figured it would be a great chance for me to do some reading and relaxing in the airport and from my research and from asking around Bahrain was a safe country.  Well then the protests in Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, and Bahrain started.  Bahrain was considered unsafe to fly by British authorities but unfortunately most other countries still felt it was safe enough at the airport.  The country itself had declared a state of emergency, urged people to stay indoors, and schools and government buildings were closed down, but my flight was still scheduled as planned.  I was going back and forth should I stay or should I go?  Most  likely I will be safe right?  I mean if it isn't safe they would shut down the airports, right?  Well as the date approached I was anxiety ridden and decided as a female alone I shouldn't take the unnecessary risk so I bit the bullet and swallowed around 60 USD in cancellation fees and booked a different flight through Etihad airways (super fancy airline and I recommend it if you can find some last minute deals because it is like first class in coach).  I ended up on the same flight of my friend Julie, a teacher in Al Gharbia whom was flying alone to take a cruise from Athens.  It was nice, we met up at the airport and were able to get seats by one another for the flight.

We arrive in Athens and I am expecting to see my friend Ginny at the airport.  Well she isn't standing where I expected her to be.  In hindsight we both realized we have sort of adapted this relaxed attitude about things living in both Arab and European countries.  It is like you lose the need to manage all the little details like well getting your friends mobile number.  She apparently checked the board and found  a flight from Dubai that was delayed so decided to head to the shopping mall.  Meanwhile my flight was actually twenty minutes early. So Julie and I drag our luggage back and forth across the terminal searching for tall skinny girls with brown hair and a Greek man (this is how I describe Ginny to her).  Which funny enough is almost every couple at the Athens airport.  After I send multiple emails to both Ginny, and everyone I know that might know her and attempt to friend her fiancée on Facebook hoping maybe he has a data plan and will get the notification to his phone (yea right! they are not so connected to electronics like we are sharing one basic mobile phone).  After around an hour I realize that it is possible that Ginny never received or noticed the email that my flight has changed so she is thinking my flight will be in a  day later.  I leave the airport depressed and convinced I will never see my friend Ginny.  Julie graciously offers up her hotel room and we share a taxi to downtown Athens.

Julie and I sauntered around the down town area and I continued to send emails to my friend Ginny and call people in the states at ungodly hours hoping to find her mobile number.  Julie and I decide to enjoy some coffee and ice cream at this cafe centered in the middle of town near the plaza.
Here is Julie enjoying some ice cream...

Here I am at the cafe drinking a cappuccino...

Julie and I drag ourselves to her hotel room and lounge on the beds of her very tiny hotel room.  We take in the view out of the room and just when I have accepted my fate and am ready to fall asleep for an afternoon nap Ginny calls me.  She explains laughing the whole time why the mix up happened and we have a good laugh and she tells me they are on their way to come and get me.

We spent the first evening at Ginny's lovely home.  She lives in a suburb of Athens called Metamorphosis, I am sorry but can you think of a cooler name for a city to live in?  Ginny and Dimitri live in this amazing villa that sets upon a mattress shop and surrounds a lovely courtyard. Here are some images of the street from the balcony facing out to the street.

Here are some images of the courtyard from the balcony facing the courtyard.

 Dimitri's brother and family and his mother and father occupy the adjoined villas that surround the courtyard.  During my stay I had mentioned that I wanted to eat authentic Gyros, spanakopita (spinach and cheese pie), dolmas, and baklava.  So on each night of my stay his mother would drop off one of these dishes.  Every night we ate dinner in Ginny and Dimitri's home and Ginny would make this wonderful Greek salad and put out a plate of feta cheese and bread.  I seriously felt like I had died and gone to food heaven.  Here are a few images of the wonderful things I feasted on.  I learned that the traditional Gyro and the shwarma I have come to know and love in the UAE are not much different. They both come with french fried on the inside (which just never happened to my Gyros in the states which leads me to a whole new conversation to be brought up later that every country has a version of food from another country that is adapted to meet  the needs of their taste buds).

 Dimitri's mother brought these by for us.  They called them donuts.  Donuts?  Um yea dunkin and crispy creme you haven't got nothing on these decadent "donuts."

 This was my favorite evening of cuisine!  We had two different cheese pies one with spinach and one just loaded with cheese.  Homemade meatballs by Dimitri's mother (whom I never met) and potatoes...and of course some feta cheese and a Greek salad.

The great thing about traveling to Greece in the spring is that there is actually a spring to enjoy.  I have been living in a desert climate for so long I have forgotten what spring smelled and sounded like.  It is very cliché but it smelled like blooming flowers and there was the sweet sound of birds singing.  You got the feeling everyone was out  and about just to appreciate the sun shining in the sky.  Here is an image I took as we strolled though town of all the trees in bloom.

Mind the Gap!  That is what you will read and hear before you get on and off the subway all around Greece.  What a great way to get  around town and to walk off some of that pita, feta and fila dough. We took the subway everywhere we went.  What a great way to people watch as well.  I was memorized at the fashion gurus that strolled on and off the subway both women and the metro-sexual men.  The women of Athens are strikingly beautiful and I struggled to find my own minds stereotype of the fat and  happy Greek women and men that American films had painted for me.  Instead I found myself gazing and staring at such beauty and style accessorized down to the toenails and earings and hand-bags.  Here is an image I captured while walking down town and you can see what I mean.  The women of Athens are fashion divas!

So naturally I did the tourist thing and  I saw the Parthenon, the temple of Poseidon, the temple of Olympian Zues, and the acropolis. I did not get to see the The National Archaeological Museum because due to off tourism season they kept strange hours and it just didn't fit into my plan to see everything in just four nights. Here are some images from these historical landmarks.

Then we strolled downtown to the same coffee place Julie and I had been at when we first got to Athens.  This time I had Dimitri with me so it was nice to let him make recommendations.  I soon feel in love with the Nescafe Frappe and sipped on one of those before we headed over to see the changing of the guard.  After the silly  spectacle they put on we got to take our picture with them.  The changing of the guard is not meant to be silly but they are grown men in tights and mini skirts with pom-pom's on their shoes, it is really hard to take them serious.  Here is Ginny and I taking turns posing with the men in tights.

For our last excursion I so desperately wanted to live out some fantasy I have always had of taking a boat to a Greek Island and so it was fulfilled!  We took the ferry to the island of Aegina.  The trip was right around an hour and the boat was really large.  Dimitri's family owns a house on the island that they go to most weekends during the summer.  They informed me that these ferries were filled with people and hard to find a seat in the summer.  In March we nearly had the boat to ourselves.  It was a really nice trip a little cold but nothing a warm Frappe couldn't cure.  Here is Ginny and I enjoying our Frappe's on the deck of the ferry boat.

The island was really mellow during the off season and I imagined it alive and filled with people in the summers.  Boats filled the docks and the townies cruised along on motorcycles and mopeds.  We enjoyed some spinach and cheese pies and walked along the shops.  Then it started to drizzle so we spent the afternoon in a coffee shop enjoying Frappes and having some delicious ice cream that reminds me of Gelato.  We took the ferry back all of us thinking how nice a nap would be.  Here are a few images from the island and from the ferry.

All in all it was an amazing and relaxing trip.  I still found enough time to finish a novel, sleep in late, and being away from Michael and Gavin made me miss them like crazy and appreciate how wonderful my little family is and how much I need them in my life.  I think it is important to realize this from time to time because we can find moments where we forget this in the daily grind.  It was strange landing back in the UAE and feeling this weird feeling of familiar.  This Arab land is familiar?  I felt home driving down the long street past the burger king in the back of the taxi as I pass the mall that will never be built and pull into my immense compound of apartments to building ten, ok now I am home where I find my sleeping boys.  Is this what they mean by Zen moments?  

I will always choose the roller coaster over the merry-go-round

So I realize that my last post may have sounded a bit unsettling but that was how I was feeling.  Since my last post I have gotten my car back, my evaluation postponed, and received a lot of support from my faculty head to help our girls succeed on this standards-based assessment.

I recently watched the old movie from 1989 Parenthood remember with Steve Martin.  It was a fantastic trip down memory lane and I thought it hit home a little for me now that I am a parent.  Remember the kid Justin in the movie how he butts things with his head and is just silly? Well that sort of reminds me of Gavin...yeah he is the weird kid at the park, yeah he is the destructive little boy at the Valentine's Day craft party, but I love him and I know he is having a fantastic childhood and that is all that matters right?  And well let's not forget he is a toddler and they are crazy!

The whole reason I bring this up is because towards the end of the movie the Grandma talks about how she used to love riding the roller coaster.  It goes up and down and up and down.  There is an exhilarating feeling and a wonderful feeling and your stomach may get upset and you make get really scared but it  is worth it right?  She goes on to say that some people like the merry-go-round it just goes round and round and you always know what to expect.  She says but I always preferred the roller coaster myself.  Well the scene ends with Steve Martin yelling at his wife, "If she is so wise why is she getting in the neighbors car?"  which of course cracks me up as I wipe away the tears from this philosophical and home-hitting moment on the screen in my living room.  I will always choose the roller coaster over the merry-go-round.  I get so bored and restless when my life becomes too predictable.  So yes I went through a few tough weeks but I have come out the other end with a big smile and even a few lovely experiences to share with my readers.

Last week my friend Sylvia and I went to my first Emirati wedding (Sylvia goes to these every chance she gets; she is an old pro and talked me through the whole experience so I knew all the dos and don'ts). It was in   a huge wedding hall near Jabel Hafeet the mountain here in Al Ain.  The men were located outside dancing and eating in large white tents and the women were all in the wedding hall.  We had a big screen that we could view the men while they were doing a very traditional dance with sticks.  I didn't take any pictures but found some images on the Dubaiheritagewordpress.com website,  to show you what I mean.

The women were located inside a large wedding hall and they were all wearing these gorgeous dresses that some of them were quite  frankly busting out of!  They were all beautiful and it was quite the scene.  There was long red carpet that led to a run-way on stage with this beautiful throne.  On both sides of the running red carpet there were absolutely gorgeous tables set up with beautiful place settings.  There was an array of tabouli, hummus, breads, salads, and dolmas or mashi to snack on.  Lovely ladies dressed in gold came around offering fresh nectars, divine chocolates, decadent bisquits, turkish coffee, tea, perfumes, and even some traditional incense to cleanse you.  I was unable to take pictures but am providing some samples of images that describe what I saw.  

I found some similar dresses to what some of the ladies were wearing on http://www.ecplaza.net

At every social event I have been to they come around with these divine and decadent cannot describe like heaven in your mouth more expensive then gold chocolates!  

So Sylvia and I enjoy the chocolates and watch all the ladies saunter around kissing one another likely commenting on  how beautiful everyone looks.  We choose our favorite dresses and chat for a bit.  Then it is time for the main course.  Each table of 6 to 8 guests of course, naturally, gets their own goat on a platter of rice and chick peas.  Sylvia and I are sitting next to three older Emirati ladies that are wearing Abayas with the traditional burqa style. I found an example of what I mean on http://www.photoburst.net/ 

When the platter is set down I take a little bit of rice on my plate but am already quite full from all the chocolates and biscuits and appetizers.  Well these ladies toss their plates to the side.  The lady grabs the bone from the platter and  begins to vigorously shake it until the marrow splats into the center of the platter. Then all three ladies dive into the platter with their hand shoveling the food under their burqas as fast as they can with cow chewing cud sound affects.  Sylvia and I look at each other and simultaneously put our forks down to indicate we have both lost our appetites...to each culture is to their own right?  Mean while I am carefully ensuring the whole time that I don't do any double dipping-sort of a fruitless gesture at this point lol.  

The beautiful golden ladies come out again to collect our dishes and Sylvia and I are both growing tired as it is a week night.  Some time past 10 o'clock what the whole room has been waiting for happens, the scared and beautiful 17 or 18 year old bride comes down the red carpet.  Her dress is elaborate and white covered in sequence from head to toe, it takes three ladies to keep her dress from collapsing under her feet as she takes each step.  There is a spot light as she walks so carefully towards the stage.  She comes on to the stage and walks to both sides of the stage.  Then she sits on the throne.  We walk over to greet our Emirati collegues as it is now an acceptable time to leave.  Sylvia informs me that sometimes the groom joins the bride and other times he does not.  The ladies are astounded that after attending the wedding we are going to work tomorrow!  Must be nice to take a day off to re-cooperate from a wedding...not us!  No such days off for the westerners.  They tell us that the groom will be coming so we must stay just a few more minutes.  So we sit and watch the ladies scurry to cover up their evening gowns with black Abayas and shaylas.  Then the young groom of 24 comes in to meet his bride.  They are presented to the ladies with no smiles on their faces.  They are both very nice looking.  Sylvia and I take this as an opportunity to follow the crowds out the door.

Then just a few days later all of the English teachers at my school were invited to our vice principal's house to celebrate the birth of her seventh  baby.  So my faculty head, and some of my colleagues join in on a caravan to our vice principal's home just blocks from our school.  As one of the other teachers point out you can immediately see how much money a family has from the gate that you drive through to enter their property.  There are multiple houses on the property.  I am told there is a house for the men to entertain, a house for the women to entertain and then there are the main homes for the family.  We are ushered into the house simply for entertaining female guests.  The front room is an Arabic style room with cathedral ceilings, a couch that wraps around the room.  There is a gorgeous Egyptian style rug on the floor covered with ladies sitting and enjoying an elaborate feast of traditional Arabic dishes.  We are escorted into another beautiful room with the traditional Arabic  style couches and again cathedral ceilings to sit and first have juice, chocolates, and coffee.  It is a little off-putting because it feels a little like segregation the Arabic teachers in one room and the English teachers in another.  But we are informed that Emirati culture is very specific with the tradition order of entertaining guests.  Step one we must have chocolate, nectar, and coffee.  Then the baby is passed around for us to stuff jewelery and money if we so desire.  I quickly passed the baby on because he became fussy.  He was a tiny little thing with a full head of hair.   At this point the baby is taken away and the Arabic teachers say good-bye.  We are then ushered in to the next room to eat.  We had these crepes wrapped around falafel and cream cheese that were amazing, and these little tuna wraps, then of course the goat and rice.  Ending with some cakes and these things that are a lot like donut holes that I have yet to learn the appropriate name for but will continue to refer to them as sticky balls.  So we are on our way.  

Finally last night I got to something I have wanted to do for a long time!  A safari tour!  We went through funtoursdubai.com leaving from the Mall of Emirates I got to enjoy a delicious BBQ Dinner and Folklore Show in a traditional Bedouin Camp.  The safari included Camel Rides, Henna Art, a Show, including traditional Arabic Musicians, Belly Dancers and Egyptian Tanoora Dancers. It was a lot of fun!  The dune bashing was a little more than I could ever handle again they cruise up these dunes super fast and then slide down them with sand cascading off the windows and the jeep is literally free falling. I got a little nauseous in the back seat but I wasn't too scared of rolling the drivers seemed pretty good at their jobs.  What frightened me was how close we were to the other jeeps.  Here are some images I tried to capture as I was bouncing around in the back seat.  

So after I gathered my stomach from the back of the jeep and my hands stopped shaking we moved towards the line for camel rides.  It was really just a photo opp with a short walk in a small circle.  Here I am with  a random stranger whose brother took pictures of us.  They made us ride in pairs so I had to find a buddy because Keith and Heather were riding together.  

Then we moved on to ride the quads.  This was about 30 Usds for 15 minutes so I opted out.  Then the guy running the thing felt sorry for me and made me sit and get my photo on one of the quads.  Then I got on the back with my friend Heather and she took me for a cruise. It was a lot of fun but I know I am old because I was really nervous about tipping over!  

After our ride around the track a few times on the quads we headed down to the main festivities where two lines had formed; one for female and one for male to get food.  We got our plate of food and sat down to watch the entertainment.  There were some tourists that plopped down from a country somewhere near Poland and Russia that is slipping my mind right now.  They spoke no English but introduced themselves and shared their remy martin cognac with us which warmed my mouth, throat, and belly!

Then Heather and I were off to get Henna done.  This is the first time I have gotten Henna done.  The young girl was from India and she did a beautiful job so quickly, I was impressed!

We finished the evening in the Shisha tents where I smoked Shisha for the first time, just to say I have done it.  I tried apple and grape, I preferred the grape as the apple seemed a little more potent.  Then we were off to the buses to head back to the mall of Emirates.  I sat next to a young lady from somewhere in the UK that has just taken a job as a teacher (I had a good laugh because she said she is just looking for a low stress job that pays well) and lives in Al Ain.

So my life in the UAE remains a roller coaster of times when I am missing home and consistency and things that make sense to me to times where I feel like I am on a lovely ride that I would have been crazy to have ever passed up.  I am again thankful for this opportunity and grateful for my experiences thus so far on my journey in the middle east.  

Superwoman...

I have to be honest at times living overseas becomes a bit too much and I have moments of weakness where all I think about is hopping on the next plane home.  I do not thing that is uncommon for most of us here.  All changes leave us conflicting as we grow older and make significant life changes.  When I went off to college and moved only an hour and a half's drive from my hometown I remember having these moments.  The first  time I crashed my car away from home or got the flu my first instinct was to think, "I need my mommy."  I remember this sinking feeling of being in something unfamiliar and wishing so much that my mom was there.

Then I graduated from college and did something obscene!  I drove 24 hours and planted my roots in New Mexico all the way from Iowa.  New Mexico was so different!  I went through a whole new kind of shock.  There was stop and go traffic, drunk bums in my yard on Christmas, crack heads asking me for money in the grocery store, and people were even speaking Spanish all around me.  I adapted and I even made a life for myself in New Mexico at times thinking I wanted to scurry home to the familiar and it all seemed to work out.

Well in hindsight with both instances the times that I felt like I needed my mom or wanted to run home with my tail between my legs are when my job became too stressful, or it seemed like my health was poor and my car had problems or I got in a car accident or had a bad break-up from a boyfriend.  All the usual need your mommy kind of things, right?

Now I am 33 years old and I have to say it is not so much my mommy I feel like I need these days.  I  do miss my mom don't get me wrong but what I am realizing is that I miss the comfort in understanding how things work at home.  The consistency of living in the same country for 32 years of my life and knowing what to expect in certain social situations, emergency situations, and even professional situations.  These moments of certainty are fleeting living in a completely different country and when I have these moments of heartache, failure, frustration that come with living I feel at odds with this fleeting feeling of unfamiliarity and my instinct is to jump on a plane and fly home;  I won't act on this because my mom taught me not to quit so I won't quit and my practical side makes a mental list of pros and cons of my new life here all the time and in the long run the pros out weigh the cons and I know that this is a great experience across the board.

Let me take a moment to evaluate why I am feeling so at odds with my soul in a sense.  The end of February I was blessed with the sandbox sinus infection which left me feeling wiped out paired with my thyroid levels being a little off which equated to scrapping my diet and becoming super exhausted all the time stuffing my face with as much chocolate and cheese as I could grab.  So I imagine this didn't help me in the long run.  I was frustrated because I wasn't getting better and spent two weekends in a row lying in bed trying to get better so I could work during the week.  Due to the lengthy process of getting sick days off I feel like it is just easier to go to work sick then to deal with going to the emergency room and then going to get your sick note stamped and now the expectation that this is all entered into the computer or your wages are docked which is just too confusing for my head to get around when I am sick.

Well then the 100 days of school was coming upon us and we decided that we wanted to throw a huge educational fair with games revolved around the theme of 100.  It was really fantastic and our girls really enjoyed it and we really impressed our Arabic staff with the quality of organization that we put into it.  It was well worth the effort but it was time consuming!  We spent days after school staying until 4 or 5 o'clock arguing over details, organizing, and setting up for this thing.  The day finally came last week and we were all wiped!

Here was my corner, the art corner (never again so exhausting after 300 girls!)

Here are some of the girls working in my corner

Here are a few other corners we had.  There was also a relay race and a race to 100...

Here is a picture of me and one of my classes...they all have on necklaces we made that week and crowns!

So while all of this is going on I am not saving any energy for my husband and son when I get home.  I am exhausted and cannot seem to shake this evil sinus infection.  We are eating fast food almost every night (which I think may be the leading cause to depression lol).  We have stopped our evening walks around the complex or to the park.  I have stopped cooking and playing with play-doh with Gavin every night.  We aren't lying in bed reading Sandra Boyton books and things seem to be taking an ugly turn for me.

Then my car dies on the way to school on one of the busiest round abouts in the city.  I stand there waiting for the tow truck to come (thankfully I knew I had road side assistance with my insurance company).  A police officer comes along and he speaks little to know English.  I stand there with him trying not to burst into tears while I wait for the tow truck driver.  He asks me, "Car no run?"  I shake my head telling him it won't run and assuring him that the tow truck driver is on his way and isn't far.  He walks away and makes some calls and comes back asking again trying to make sure he states it very clear, "Car-no-run?"  This scenario repeat itself again and again as time drags to a stop and we wait for the alleged tow truck driver to get here.  Finally after he asks me,"Car no run," for the millionth time I proceed to rein-act the sounds my car made as it died.  Then I  demonstrate for him the sound of an engine attempting to turn over with no success.  He seems pleased with my performance and thankfully does not ask me again, "car no run?"

Now the tow truck driver comes and of course he speaks no English and apparently the insurance company gave  him no information on where I would like the car delivered (why would they?).  So after I find a million different ways to explain that the car needs to go to Dubai to the dealership and I plan to grab a taxi and do I have to pay for the extra kilometers?  Mafi Inglisi...no English...I try calling my faculty head who speaks Arabic, the policemen calls his friend who speaks broken English and then I do what of done to begin with and call the insurance company to translate.  After a few phone calls and another half an hour I am in a taxi on the way to school.

What is wrong with my car?   My brand new used car?  Well it was the radiator and then apparently due to my negligence it became a cracked head gasket.  However only the day before had I noticed the cars gauge was reading hot when the air conditioning was running (not when it was off!).  So I took the car to get the oil changed at the Adnoc lube.  All fluids were checked and topped off and I was told coolant levels were fine!  I was also shown my black sludge oil which indicated to me that the oil was not changed before the car was sold to me...go figure?!  So now I have been with out my car for going on two weeks now and have had to rent a car and am still not sure if my warranty will cover this and honestly (although now I am being told they will do everything they can to try and get this covered under the warranty).   I am trying to tell myself my car will be ready when it is ready and if I have to pay out of pocket then that is what credit cards are for, right?  It will all work out right?  But you can see  how it sort of feels like things are piling up and I might want to hop on a plane these days?  I will reiterate now it becomes a positive affirmation, I can do this, I can work through this, life only gives us what we can handle right?

Now the 100 days of school party is over and my car is being worked on so breath right?  Wrong now my faculty head comes in with a copy of an observation she did when I was sick and had given an assessment; not actually delivering a lesson.   Until now she has showered me with positive feedback.  Not today!  On this day she piles it on, three paragraphs summarizing my failures at this particular juncture.  I haven't provided my students with an objective for the assessment (a multiplication chart isn't that self explanatory?).  I haven't provided clear expectations for what the students should do when they complete the assessment (I try to encourage them to free read but  they just weren't listening).  Finally, I do not have enough time on task and I need to ensure I am consistently implementing my behavior stop light. I can give you a list of justifications for all of these things but the reality was it was just a bad  day, I was sick, and I wasn't prepared for an observation and we all have bad days.  It just kind of hits me in the gut because I am already asking myself am I good teacher (Do not see Waiting for Superman because ever since I keep asking myself if I am a charismatic enough teacher;  I mean I didn't teach my kids the times table with a song did I?)?

Then we find out that grade 3 has a standards bases assessment coming up in March and we get a copy of the test to begin preparing our students for.  The test we are told will make up 20 % of their grades!  Are you kidding me?  A child can actually be held back in the third grade due to their performance on a standards based test.  I pour myself over these tests really beating myself up and wondering again teaching....am I good at it or do I do this profession justice or is this my calling?  Math is predominately word problems rather then calculations.  The science is  written in very scientific language.  The English test is pretty easy and I know I have prepared them for this.  But I feel like a big jerk hindering my girls because I decided to modify science and instead of using a  word like dissolve I have said, "goes away," or instead of observe I have said, "look" because in my heart  I think like a special education teacher.  I want them to get the concept and I want them to feel successful.  Have I hindered my girls because we don't drill vocabulary in science or even math.  In math my girls do not know things like, "how many all together" or "sum of" or "number placement (they can tell you what place the one is in but will be very confused with the terminology on the exam."   So again I feel like a failure!  So more cheese and chocolate and now I make a trip to Spinney's Liquor because Mrs. Leah grade 3 teacher needs some wine in her house again.

Don't get me wrong I have managed to create a very strong support system here and after collapsing in tears my good friend Sylvia from South Africa took me to starbucks and turned my tears into giggles.   My friend Carrie from my school reminded me how we all struggle with these same fleeting thoughts.  We come over here to the UAE to teach, with high hopes of turning these girls into grade level standard performers and instead they can carry on a very simple conversation in English and they are beginning to read and maybe even tell you why they like a book.  These moments when a girl comes to me and says in very broken English what she predicts will happen in a book and how she smiles when she is right and then when she tells me why she likes the book I know I am doing something.  I am teaching my girls to love literature in a country where the average citizen reads two pages of literature a year (according to The National).  Unfortunately these are not the results that my employer wants.  They want more and that can feel defeating at times.

Now add to this now prevailing feeling of failure and apparent spring fever in my girls which means they are as Sylvia  might say, "out of their trees," or even, "all over the show."  I am finding it really hard to handle them lately and am very concerned with my upcoming observation because the principal expects their behavior to be perfect when she observes.  Spring break is just two weeks away and I can see it over the horizon but unfortunately that means mapping booklets must once again be completed.  Which means for me 46 booklets, one for each girl, with 14 pages of standards to high light and decipher whether I believe they have completed such feats as "uses descriptive and/or  figurative language to support a point of view," or "model and describe equal groups of arrays and find their totals," or "Group materials according to whether they are solids, liquids, or gases," and did I mention this is all written in size 8 font.  Then once these are finished (only takes about 45 minutes per girl...that is all) then we get to enter the same information in a different format into the computer (which can be minimized to about 20 minutes per girl).  All of this while in the back of my mind we have to make sure our classroom will meet our employers standards because we  are expecting a visit from a group of cluster managers and administrators to evaluate our school and spend two days at our school looking through our assessment binders, our mapping booklets, lesson plans, and curriculum maps.  So no stress right?

So if you ask me at this moment if I love my job, love this experience, am I happy I might not want to answer because honestly I feel like this kind of pressure is what can lead to nervous breakdowns.  I am trying to chill out relax and not take everything so serious and trying to have the attitude that I can do this and it will make me a better teacher and all of that.  And when my girls bring me flowers and tell me they love me and draw me pictures and grin from ear to ear from an activity we are doing in the classroom it all feels right.  A night at the movies giggling with my husband about some of things that make me laugh so much in this country.  I need that.  Writing a blog and putting it all out there, maybe therapeutic.  Maybe I simply need some validity that I am strong and I am prevailing over some pretty challenging  weeks past and coming.  I need a reminder sometimes that teachers, we really are superwomen (and men) all around the globe and isn't about the summers off.

I want to end this blog on a little more positive note.  I am going to get through the next two weeks and I am going to come out on the other end feeling empowered and after spring break I will be refreshed and ready to get through the last trimester successful and I will come back next year knowing so much more and I just know things will be running a bit smoother with this reform and my job will get easier and I will start to know what to expect on some level and I know things will get easier.  After all I get to hop on a plane in just two weeks and go to Greece and see a good friend from college.

Michael has started taking classes online and they are going well and I am really proud of him.  Gavin is going to start nursery school soon which will be really good for everyone and he can socialize with other two year olds and three year olds which will be good for him too.

My thoughts on culture shock...

Culture Shock is defined by http://dictionary.reference.com/  as,

"a state of bewilderment and distress experienced by an individual who is suddenly exposed to a new, strange, or foreign social and cultural environment ."

Culture shock can be defined in five stages and not everyone goes through them.

The 5 stages of culture shock:
    * The Honeymoon

    * The Actual Shock/Negotiation

    * The Adjustment

    * Assimilation

    * Reverse Cultural Shock

Before I came to the United Arab Emirates.  I read everything I could about culture shock and these five stages came up pretty frequently in my research.  These five stages are very general and often fail to consider that people will experience different phases in different cultures.  The United Arab Emirates is completely different in terms of what someone might experience because the country is made up of so many expatriates (you can almost avoid the culture all together if you work in an office of other expatriates).  If someone is from India and comes to the UAE they may feel some of these stages but they may also just surround themselves with other Indian expatriates.  Someone from Australia may feel these stages as well but never quite assimilate because they too find other Australians and continue to live very similar lives to what they lived in Australia.  And me?  I am from America and for the most part who do I spend my time with?  Other Americans?  But as an educator I come into contact with Emirates and Arab Expatriates everyday these are my colleagues and my students so the shock was inevitable. 

So in my research I read that in the UAE there are two types of the stage of "adjustment" in the UAE.  In one type we surround ourselves with expatriates from our home country or western countries and live very familiar lives from back home down to the cinema, the food, and even our extracurricular activities.  We often join in on complaint sessions in regards to the Emirates and Arabic culture.  On the other end of the spectrum there is this world where expatriates become friends with Emirates and Arab expatriates and learn about their culture.  They experience the food and may attend an Emirate wedding or celebration.  They see the beauty of the Muslim community and they find some acceptance.  This acceptance brings them to a place where they really see the UAE as their home rather than temporary situation in their lives.  In my research I remember reading that if one did not come to this place of acceptance that they might as well have a calendar on their wall counting down the days until they get home.  They forgot to mention the fuzzy gray area in between the two places that I seem to have landed.  So finding myself in limbo of acceptance and rejection I want to really dissect my culture shock according to the five stages of culture shock.  First I will give the definition of each stage and then I will attempt to summarize what my feelings were during this stage. 

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Honeymoon Phase is defined as the following:

During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on. During the first few weeks most people are fascinated by the new culture. They associate with the nationals that speak their language and are polite to the foreigners. This period is full of observations and new discoveries. Like many honeymoons this stage eventually ends.

When I first arrived in Abu Dhabi we were greeted with roses and brought to the 5 star hotel the Rotana Beach with view of the gulf out our window.  Honeymoon?  Yes!  I felt like I was in a fantasy land with enormous sky scrapers everywhere.  I was snapping a million pictures of the beautiful buildings, the hotel, I even went stark mad just taking photos of trays of food in the breakfast buffet.  I was trying new foods and even ate the McArabia from McDonalds just because it was different!  I look at this stage and fear that maybe my honeymoon phase was short changed by the wear and tear that hotel life started to have on us. 

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Negotiation Phase is defined as the following:

After some time (usually three months but sometimes sooner or later, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to new and unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to have unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive of one's cultural sensitivity. Language barrier, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings.

For us I think the "Negotiation Phase," came sooner due to hotel life becoming so draining!  I kept finding myself saying again and again that once we get into our homes everything will be easier!  I won't fight with my husband and my son won't make me insane if we can just get in our home with an internet connection and a stove and a fridge.  I was starting to feel like my hierarchy of needs were not being met.  Many would laugh at me and I feel ashamed to say that when so many people could and would never consider living in a 5 star hotel challenging; but it was!  We were ready for our apartment and space!


We were running out of money and getting really sick of eating out, not having internet, and not having space for our very active two year old son to rome about (his legs were covered in bruises from running into the furniture in the small hotel room) or even a space for him to nap or fall asleep before we did.  In addition to that is the anxiety that comes with this country deriving from questions like:  when will have a meeting? When do we move to our apartments? When do we move from Abu Dhabi to Al Ain?  When do we get our passports back?  When do we find out school placements, get debit cards, get rental cars, when do we start school and how will I find my school?  For a type A personality that likes a lot of control it can feel like the honeymoon phase comes to a crashing stop.  I still felt myself saying and still do over and over again am I really here?  Am I really living in this fast growing country across the world from all that I know with camels in the back of Toyotas?  And I smile because it is something that will continue to amaze me and justify this decision. 



According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Adjustment Phase is defined as the following:

Again, after some time (usually 6 – 12 months), one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal". One starts to develop problem-solving skills for dealing with the culture, and begins to accept the culture ways with a positive attitude. The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced.

So I know on some levels I am here in this phase right now.  I am used to the new culture, I am never surprised and often anticipate many things that were shocking at first.  Food delivered may take two hours and  that is ok even if they said 45 minutes (complaining does you know good).  I may have to return to the electric company four or five times to get the utilities switched in my name and they may be completely inefficient but it doesn't surprise me.  Cars may fly up on two wheels around the round about and I may feel like I am on the defense often when driving; but I am not phased by this lack for safety in this country.  I may pick up son up at a day care stuffing his face with cotton candy delivered to him by a stranger and I won't even raise an eyebrow.  The prayer calls have become background noise and I know to go shopping on Fridays around noon to have the malls to ourselves and the other western expatriates.  I know that most places are closed from 2 to 4 and on Fridays so I don't even bother trying to get things done then.  I know that "No problem" does not always mean there won't be a problem.  I know that sometimes Insha Allah means it will happen and sometimes it won't.  I learned the world won't end if my son pulls his pants down in the mall or I wear a short sleeve shirt or accidentally eat with my left hand or cross my legs in public.  So in so many ways I feel right at home here. 

I have also found my favorite places to shop, get dinner, joined a bowling league, go to movies, have a reliable babysitter, my favorite route to work, and have made some good friends.  We have favorite parks and Mike, Gavin and I love to go to Dubai just to go to the book store and eat at big American chains like Outback and Fridays.  We love to go to explore Al Ain and love that there is so much to do that revolves around family.  We are happy here.  We miss family and can't wait to see them this summer and look forward to a time when we return to the United States but are not by any means checking dates off a calendar. 

As I read the last portion of the this phase of culture shock as defined by Wikopedia it states, "The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced."

Some may say I am extremely self-absorbed in my own cultural ways or too confident or cocky even, to say that the way we do things in the United States is best.  Maybe?  But I will never be able to make sense of the way things are done here!  I will never be able to understand (I can deal with it and let it roll of my shoulders) why the bazillion stamps and why there isn't a universal computer server for each company.  For example if I want something done with my bank I have to go to a certain branch and no one can just pull something up from a connected server on the computer (this means lots of driving around).  Lack of efficiency across the board at the government level and the business level and I can never find any sense in something that I see so inefficient, I just can't!  I really believe that there are some Emirates that are paid some outlandish salary just to sit in an office and stamp things.  I will continue to have negative reactions to these things and opposition to the backwards and inefficient planning for so many things in this country.  So does this mean that I will not find acceptance?

I suppose on some levels my reactions have reduced to a shrug of the shoulder and a certain expectation for this inefficiency so that I blink my eyes and more or less forget that  I had to give five copies of my passport to someone for some reason and they still need another copy because they can't find it.  I know I can't let these things eat me up but do I have to make sense of it?  In my professional opinion no!  I can let it go but I cannot endorse inefficiency.  In contrast anyway I could make a list a mile long of the inefficiencies in the United States so I suppose in some ways I have not quite found acceptance even in my own country...

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock the Mastery Phase is defined as the following:

In the mastery stage assignees are able to participate fully and comfortably in the host culture. Mastery does not mean total conversion; people often keep many traits from their earlier culture, such as accents and languages. It is often referred to as the biculturalism stage.

Mastery is still over the horizon for me.  I am still learning so much and this learning could go on for a while.  For example it was just brought to my attention that drinking coffee at the morning assembly isn't culturally appropriate and apparently I have been getting looks of disgust for months now.  I feel terrible now and I do not bring my coffee to morning assembly and I felt pretty bad that I made such a terrible mistake ongoing for so long with out thinking twice.  Culturally for me teacher + morning = coffee mug in her hand.  I never considered the notion that no one else was drinking coffee.  I have to say my mornings are a little off now but I am working on it.  I suppose mastery will be when I avoid making these little mistakes all together for the most part.  Insha Allah...

Spontinuity and Impulses

So last week I traded in my rental yaris tin can for a lovely new Mitsubishi, Outlander, a crossover 4x4.  It is used and for just a little more then a rental I will have it paid off in two years and it is still under warranty.  It couldn't be more of a boring color, white, but as my friend Abby points out it is pearly white.  I really love driving it and can tell already that I am getting more respect on the road from my fellow drivers and maybe my head is a little taller to not be driving the same vehicle as the Farooj Chicken delivery guy.  But I have to complain, there is a tape player!  No CD player and how did I miss that, well I am super impulsive and didn't look for details like a CD players or MP3 player compatibility...the worst part is that all in the same week the one station in Al Ain that plays American music, which is pretty bad top 20 stuff suddenly stopped playing American music and switched to Hindi.  Fantastic!  So I am currently improvising with my phone or netbook for music or I sing to myself.  I plan on doing a little shopping for a CD player for my car at some junction; but not on the agenda this month. Here is a picture and in case you are wondering I am not leaving the plastic on the seats like some of the strange locals (apparently this is big here to keep things in their packaging to keep them nice; not uncommon to see all the stickers on the computer of a teller or customer service rep.

In other news I joined a bowling league.  Yes there is bowling with out alcohol and I suck at it!  I joined with some other teachers and so far we are having a lot of fun.  It seems to be all teachers for the most part and no one seems super competitive although it is clear we all want to win!  We get to just unwind and be super silly and laugh a lot and it is nice to get away from Mike and Gavin and have some guaranteed girl time once a week.  Also bonus, it counts as activity points on weight watchers! Here is a picture of my team, "split happens,"

From right to left there is Jolynn from Illinois, Sylvia from South Africa, and of course me, and Abby from Illinois (I met her in Iowa before we came out here).

We have a lot of laughs and I am really enjoying  bowling so far!

This past weekend was really fun and full.  On Friday, my friend Abby and I got much needed pedicures, which we agreed we needed much more frequently.  Then we were off to the Al Ain Airshow.  I haven't been to an airshow since I was a kid, it was pretty amazing!  Gavin was all over the place running around and had gasps of enthusiasm for the planes and loud booms and had his fill on junk food.  We went with Abby and her family and really enjoyed it.  Here is a picture of Mike and Gavin enjoying the airshow (yes we try to keep Gavin strapped in as much as possible!)

Then afterwards we decided to throw caution into the wind or be sponteaneous and we hopped into our rugged new 4x4s packed with hot dogs, wood, a grill, some chairs, and sand toys and found us some random dunes.  We are in the desert so why not?  So we drove abound 8 miles towards Dubai and pulled off into the nearest deserty sand dunes stocked with some camels nearby and everything.  Abby's truck got stuck in the desert!  Mike and Andy had to jump on the back of the truck and jump up and down and do some pushing to get it out.  Apparently they weren't working the 4x4 correctly but I had to make the joke and ask if they were still planning to join the off roaders club when they got stuck in the sand making a three point turn about.

We set up near a few dunes and the boys started digging with their toys and the sun began to set quickly!  We got the grill and fire going and made some hotdogs and smores.  It was a lot of fun!  The only downside was that Gavin is really impulsive/active/unaware of the whole toppling down a dune to be injured concept so after trying to corner him in a cornerless desert to play in one area, we were forced to strap him to his stroller and supply him with enough chips, graham crackers, and marshmallows to keep him from whining.

Here is a fantastic picture my friend Abby took of me, Gavin, her boys, and Michael at the top of a dune at sunset. 

Here is another picture of Abby and I making smores around the little grill Abby brought.

Then on Saturday I was invited to a Valentine's Day craft party at another teacher's flat.  She had put together a whole morning of activities for the kids to make crafts including picture frames, necklaces, and valentines.  I really thought it was a good idea for Gavin!  I really did!  Gavin has limited activity with other kids and I really thought this would be a great opportunity for him to get to play with other kids!  I also have spent time coloring and working with play-doh with him and as long as I am there to guide him he loves it and can spend quite a bit of time focused diligently on the task at hand.  Plus I just figured in his love for hearts was a plus, I mean how could we go wrong?

Well we arrived and everything started off so sweet and innocent!  Gavin was nicely gluing hearts together creating a lovely valentine for Daddy or Mommy.  He even was coloring on it very nicely.  Then he notices the necklace making station with beads.  Hearts, and starts! Oh my!  He loves hearts and stars (he seems to have a thing for shapes lately-really really into them).  I grab a nice handfull and bring him back to our area where I try to focus him on making a neckclace with the beads I have.  Before I can stop him he dives towards the nicely organised dishes of beads and he dumps them over.  OH no he doesn't stop there!  He then preoceeds to wave his hands back and forth to see them fly accross the room.  At this point my sweet hostess is grabbing the broom and scrambling to pick them up and assuring me that isn't a big deal and I am sure at this point it isn't, everyone is laughing and Gavin is really confused when I put him in time out.  I apollogize profusely and then decide he needs a distraction.  Gavin is compulsive, I am going with," it is a normal two year old thing." 

For example if he sees a toy at the park and wants to play with it and the child that has it refuses then we have to leave the park because he will think of nothing else but getting his hands on the toy.  At times distraction will work but mostly it doesn't and why didn't my gut realize that the beads fell under this very same category?  Here I am with a group of ladies that I barely know hoping to have some new friendships for both Gavin and I to flourish trying desperately to get Gavin to eat a cookie and get his mind off of things.  And he dives again into the beads!  Desperately trying to ensure every bead is spread across the room.  Again my hostess smiles as she scrambles to pick up all the beads and my heartrate goes up and I feel panicky and Gavin sees the other kids going to play and he follows.  Maybe he is distracted now? I saunter down the hall to see how Gavin is playing when oldest boy begins to point frantically at the cookie on the floor, "who brought food in the bedroom?  There is no food allowed in the bedroom!  Who brought food in the bedroom?"  I apollogized to the young boy and scurried to hide the evidence hoping no one would see my child with the red scarlet cookie.  Well at this point Gavin decides to give the beads one more toss around the room and our sweet hostess has given up on cleaning up the beads plopping defeated on the couch.  Gavin is now attempting to dislodge the door from the princess doll house of the little girl and I can see I need to leave.  They all smile and nod and say good-bye and I even imagine are feeling a little sense of relief.  I left and in hindsight realize Gavin just might not be ready for craft day.

Here are the beads before Gavin attacked them lol:

Here is Gavin's valentine before he turned into baby godzilla:

Next week Michael and I are headed back to Abu Dhabi for the first time since we were bussed away from the Beach Rotana last August.  We are going to Yas Island to see Eric Clapton!  I cannot wait!  Details to come on that venture!  I am up way past my bedtime but I have to admit it is kind of nice.  Michael is in Dubai with a friend and for the first time in a long time I have the place to myself while Gavin sleeps; the peace is kind of nice.